One lucky bum will get paid big bucks just to do your business.
Bidet brand Tushy is recruiting a “VP of Fecal Matters” to track their unmentionable habits for three months. The position pays $10,000. Really.
The company, and bidets in general, soared in popularity during the pandemic due to toilet paper shortages. Tushy wants to capitalize on that momentum.
“Even with the great toilet paper shortage of 2020, many Americans are still wiping like it’s 1899, sacrificing millions of trees, billions of gallons of water and buttholes every year,” said Tushy CEO Miki Agrawal in a press release. “For too long, American butts have been governed by the tyranny of big TP.”
Hear that big TP? Tushy wants to de-throne you.
Document Your Toilet Habits — and Get Paid $10,000
Applications for Tushy’s VP of Fecal Matters close July 7. The 100% work-from-home gig will start July 22 and last at least three months.
Over the course of those three months, you’ll document your experience using a Tushy bidet, using the Bristol Stool Chart in your analysis. You’ll also compare other bathroom products against your Tushy bidet, interview your friends and family about their bathroom habits and create videos and other social media content.
To qualify, you must be a “real pooping human” between the ages of 21 and 121 who’s candid and shameless in your scatalogical discussions.
You can start your application now. Be sure to include a 60-to-90-second video that explains why you’re perfect for the gig.
The top five applicants will be invited to interview on a live Zoom call on July 14, during which you’ll have to outline what you plan to doo in your months as VP of Fecal Matters.
Other Ways to Earn a Bunch of Money With Tushy
Tushy’s Ad-Hole Contest is separate from its search for a VP of Fecal Matters. The company is crowd-sourcing its next big ad campaign, and it’s accepting submissions until July 7 at 12 a.m. Pacific time.
The winner will receive $10,000 plus a full-suite of Tushy products, including a basic bidet (duh), a warm-water butt spa, a compact travel bidet (this is NOT a reusable water bottle), bamboo toilet paper and towels, an ottoman and other Tushy swag like T-shirts that say, “Ask me about my butthole.”
Four runners-up will get $500 and a basic bidet, and up to 25 semi-finalists will snag $100 and a basic bidet.
Above all else, Tushy says your ad ideas should be creative, unique, funny and informative about the Tushy brand and the benefits of bidets.
To submit your idea, first record a one-minute video explaining your brilliant advertisement and upload it to your Instagram, Facebook or TikTok account. Use the hashtag #Bidet2020 and tag @hellotushy.
Then fill out a simple application that includes your social media handles, links to your video on social media, explains what medium (print, broadcast, outdoor or digital) you’re targeting and answers: Why will this make people ditch toilet paper and get with Tushy?
Tushy will announce winners July 17.
May the best … nope. Not going there.